I sit on my rooftop terrace in Sevilla on a warm evening, with a bottle of wine, my water pipe and a little fire in a flowerpot. I recommend listening to this as you read the following.
I live in a world in which all is possible.
The knowledege of the world is at my fingertip (as long as the WiFi works), there are few restrictions as to what I am allowed to do and to reach and the rules of the system are generally designed for me to be able to act.
I say I live in this world, because I am aware that not everybody lives there.
I am able to access this world, or to believe in this world, because of my many privileges. I am white, male, European, young, healthy.
I have been brought up in a family where I was encouraged to believe all is possible and was believed in, I was encouraged to be myself and to act from who I am. I don’t remember situations, until I entered what they called school, where I was told I was not supposed or able to do X or Z.
I travelled, learned I can survive in pretty much any situation I was put in, I learned several of the most important languages of the world today.
Later I went through an education that even further widened my horizon, even further emphasized on the point of unlimited possibilities. (not school, but this)
There are outside and inside factors that play into this belief that everything is possible, that I am able to do anything, and in both I have experienced encouragement.
I’m sure, I am one of the most luckiest persons in this world, regarding this.
But like me, more and more kids are brought up in an unlimited world. Maybe it’s the internet, the interconnectedness, globalization, changes in general perception, pedagogies, be it what it may – I think there is a trend to unlimitedness.
So I am in company of people who genuinely believe everything is possible and then, as well others who genuinely believe there are limits to what is possible. I recently read the clever phrase that whether you believe you can do it or not, you’re right. There’s a lot of thruth in that.
I find myself in the situation of being constantly busy. With many more things I could do than I actually can manage with the time, energy and focus that I have.
But then, very recently I realized something pretty shocking, confusing for me. I am bored.
Wow, wait. I am running and there is so much fascinating stuff out there – and I am still bored? That goes against my concept of boredom. Boredom is when I have nothing to do.
A lot has been written and said about the overload of information and input we receive nowadays in comparison to back in the days when there was no electricity, no phones, no internet, no computers.
I personally – and I’ve been told many others – have a brain that craves more and more and more input. More and more knowledge, more and more excitement, more and more stuff. To the point of complete exhaustion and actually little satisfaction with it.
In the book “The Fourfold Way” I found a passage about the archetype of the Warrior that comes back to me now.
“Another aspect of communication that is necessary for effective leadership is the ability to understand the difference between yes and no. These two words reveal our limits and boundaries – what we are willing to do and what we are not willing to do. When we say “yes” when we mean “no,” we lose personal power and become victims or martyrs. When we say “no” to someone else when we know the situation calls for us to say “yes,” we become stingy or selfish.”
I write this piece – and wrote the first paragraphs – because I believe this is not only me. I am, and we are, whether we know or not, faced with so many possibilities to which we either say yes or no. I happen to say a half-hearted yes in so many situations that I am then stuck with because of my idea of ‘responibility’. If I have said yes to it at some point, I have to follow it through, I ask that much of myself – which then means I spend a lot of my time doing what I have eventually said ‘yeahh….’ instead of ‘YES!’ to.
And that’s fine. I am not sure whether it’s always necessary to do things with full passion, nothing wrong with making a bit of effort. But on the long run, I lose my energy in this, my personal power as the book above quoted says.
So to keep myself full of my personal power (and that’s a good state to be in!) I’ll want to recognize a decision before I take it – and decisions come all the time and they go by really quickly – and say no much more often, for the benefit of the things I say ‘YES!” to.
In the development of this generation that I feel being a part of, I think we have these two big milestones. Some of us really could do with realizing that THEY CAN(!). No matter what, no matter who, no matter where, they can. There are no excuses and no difficult circumstances. All this shebang about ‘Believe in yourself’ – we need a lot of this!
Meanwhile, and right afterwards as well, we need a good portion of “I could, but I won’t”. Not because of this reason or that reason but just because this is what I decide for and this is what I decide against. There might be 50.000€ in something, if this is not your thing to do in this moment, it’s a NO. There might be only struggle and shit in the other decision and it might still be a YES.
Curious why to take that decision or this one? Me too. I’ll try it out from now on, maybe I can tell you more in a bit. :)
Thanks for being there.
My apologies for the people of Possibility Management for (probably) abusing their name. It just came in too fitting…