As I’m sitting here, overlooking Bilbao, I realize complexity.
What do I mean when I say complexity.
I realize that I’m interconnected with all beings. To put it less esoteric, quantum physics seem to have shown that if you divide a particle each part(icle) reacts to what happens to the other, even if they’re far away from each other.
I realize that I’m connected to every person I ever had an emotional relationship with. Not only family, friends, lovers, but also the person on the street that made me angry or that I found interesting. I am connected to their ups and down, to their every struggle.
I realize that bad air, smog, stress, emotional pressure, fear influence my being alive to a high degree. –
I realize that I’m connected to my personal history. I know from the shamanic practice and others that every incident in my life, and be it as insignificant as slipping on a stair or burning m finger, marks my life, sometimes significantly.
I know that my brain realizes, memorizes and processes every single detail my senses sense. Every detail I see, even if I don’t notice it conciously, it’s saved. Through hypnosis, dreams etc. they sometimes come up again.
I realize that in every group I enter, I also enter a certain energetic field that puts me in the one or other role, gives me an identity that I tend to believe is me.
I realize that I live in a society that offers me a certain perspective on life, while otherwise greatly limiting my view on things.
I realize that I carry with me my family history. Not only the one I lived with my living family, but also the one of my ancestors. Wars, traumas, dreams – all in me.
I realize that I might carry in me a certain life goal, that some people believe we decide upon when we decide to get born.
I realize that there might be karma, destiny- There might be astrology, there might be cosmic influences, there might be Qi, Feng Shui, curses, obsessions and these are probably the very very few things I actually do realize.
I ask myself –
How the heck am I still moving?!
Yesterday I felt I was ill and looked for the homeopathic remedy that suited the symptoms. And I believe I found one that fits very well.
But how can I seriously believe that with all these things happening in and around me, there is one specific – I don’t even know how to call it. effect? thing? disease? pattern? that cause it or help it?
I believe, I’m doing one thing most of the time. That might be true in a way.
But actually, I realize complexity, in more than one sense.