I’ve had a great, long talk today with Timothy about thoughts and our minds. This brought me here.
Yesterday I had a dreamlike image in my mind, of myself walking a path. that alone sounds quite promising. What showed though was, that I was walking like drunk. stumbling from left to right and back and falling over every stone.
Why is this relevant? Because I see myself doing this. Walking the path of my life – which is very nice – but stumbling, falling, walking on, loosing balance.
First I described it as walking very inefficiently, but this is not the problem. As long as I’m having a beautiful walk, I’ll walk as inefficiently as I do. But I walk like drunk.
What is then walking like drunk? – It seems I can break it down to walking very unconcious, unbalanced, intoxicated.
I am not sure what intoxicated means, I do know what unbalanced means, even though I don’t know what to do about it. I know what unconcious means and I know what I can do about it.
Timothy told me about his practice to write down his every thought during the day. I’ll probably not do this during the day, but I’ll do this in certain timeframes. Like now.
Cellphone charging, insecure about radiation. room untidy, should bring cup back to kitchen. dedication. I sit collapsed. what should I do about it? I’ll not do anything about it. I can’t breathe properly because of my posture. I can still breathe enough. laptop is warm. muscle in right leg is tensed. how was the hosted session of today?tension in my arms. should send out a letter. should plant the seeds I have in my room. should read the quran, should read other books. picture on the wall is not straight. awareness of the window behind me. undetermined feeling in my stomach. should charge the tablet. remove unused cellphone from the floor. bored. seeing a smiley on my wall, lifted spirit. have to mend some clothes. should hang up posters for my projects. alpaca. tension. thoughts coming slower. charlotte. what will I do now?
interesting practice. my thoughts were way slower by time. I’ll try that more often. maybe take out 5 minutes and write down every thought.
another idea I had this night was to pick up every thought I have and repeat it.
have to sit straight. have to sit straight. have to sit straight. left side of my back collapsed. pressure on the heart. pressure on the heart. tension in the left neck. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension. tension.
doesn’t work very well when it’s written, but will try it more as thoughts.
let’s see what happens.